This past Monday, April 19th, my Boyfriend and I got into an arguement. It was something that had to do with other previous events that I won't go into great detail with. Lets just say it had to do with rough sex. How there's having sex, and then fucking. Fucking is for a one night stand, or some sort of hooker. Having sex can be with those too, but it's a little more.. caring. It doesn't even have to be slow and passionate, but to me it shows he cares..

But that's off topic. So, Monday afternoon we get intimate. And this wasn't his fault whatsoever. I know it wasn't, but I freaked out because he ended up hurting me again. It didn't matter that it wasn't on purpose, it didn't matter that he didn't mean to. The fact was that it hurt and I felt stupid because I let him in even though I still haven't forgiven him.

While freaking out, I made a wise decision and told him I had to leave. He wouldn't let me leave because he felt I would hurt myself. By not letting me leave and not giving me the space I needed I broke down. My anxiety started returning. Many people don't actually know how fragile I am. I have a tough demeanor because growing up in Lower Manhattan told me that's how I had to be. So I started gripping my wrist, (old habit), and started rocking back and forth.

This freaked him out even more and he was definately not letting me leave. When he asked what was going on. I couldn't breathe right and could barely talk. He finally got me to look at him. That's when I beat him up. I litterally punched with full force at his chest and shoulders. I didn't aim for the face because I wouldn't know how to explain that to his mom. Punching and crying fueled me. I was scared and angry. Apparently that makes me into a Beastly Betty.

He still has bruises...

I am enraged. Beyond belief. I shaking as I type right now. My fucking father. Aren't girls supposed to be daddy's little princesses? Well what happens when she grows up?

I finally informed my dad about my lack of virginity. We were talking about my friend who just had her baby and she's not even 17 yet. He then asked me if I was using protection. I told him I didn't want to talk to him about it. He continued. Like he always does. Always pressuring people. So I finally told him yes. Just to shut him up. He then asked about stds and other things. I thought it was, well awkward, but good closure and quality time. Since we know nothing about each other. Except for the fact that he fucked my mother and is now making my life hell. 

The next day it was my little brother's turn to visit. My father asked him if he like my boyfriend and what he thought of him. He then went on to say that he doesn't like my boyfriend, he thinks I shouldn't be with him and that I should focus more on my studies. That made me soooo upset. I had just rexcently got my report card and have a 90 average and I'm getting tutoring for math since its my weakest subject. I'm on top of my game. I can take care of myself.

So I vented on facebook how I can't trust him, and how he doesn't even know me. A few days later he saw it and like freaked out. He said how I shouldn't talk down about him on facebook and how he's sorry for loving me. He even said he was always there for me.. I litterally laughed maniacally. Which means I probably have some sort of deeply disturbing mental issues. But we'll discuss those later.

Then after that he sent a message to my boyfriend via facebook. He said that the two of them are going to meet up. (also that he had no choice). He stated that if my boyfriend "has the balls to use my daughter then you have the balls to talk to me." So I'm fucking pissed. My boyfriend replied saying that he will meet up with him out of respect for me and that he expects to be respected and not threatened. When he suggested I be there as well, Daddy Dearest said, then bring your mother as well. Which means shit is gunna go down. HOLY SHIT! >=/ 

I understand that I'm 16 and have been having sex for a while. I understand that as a parent and a father, you want to show your dominance. But when you haven't been a father to me, what right do you have to threaten my boyfriend? Why are you all of a sudden interested??  Why are you trying to ruin us? He litterally knows nothing about me, or him. He knows nothing of how he treats me, which is very well by the way. He knows nothing of how we feel about each other. I know we're young but why did he have to react like this? It's just rude and inconsiderate. I could see if he was like, "Hey lets all go out and get to know each other." Or something like that. That would've been fine. But for him to just come out like, "You are guna meet up with me and we're guna have a little chat."

If he gets rude with my boyfriend.. Not only will he get yelled at because my boyfriend doesn't stay shut for anyone, but I'm sooooo not talking to him ever. Like he's lost all my faith and trust in him. You know he got married almost a month ago. And I found out last week.. Didn't even know he was engaged. I knew the bitch was living with him. I knew he was fucking her. I also know that he doesn't love her and is married because she needed a green card. She cooks, cleans and opens her legs whenever he wants.. It's just for convenience. And the fact that he can save a little more money now because she pays half of the rent. So now he's got all this extra cash to splurge, meanwhile, he's behind on childsupport. Me and my little bro need new clothes. My little bro is tall for his age. All of his pants are above his ankles.. And all of his shirts have stains and holes. I mean okay he's a kid, he's guna get messy but like you should be able to replace the clothes.. I have virtually nothing. And he still owes me a Xmas present.. Yet he's always been there for me.